I'm tapping my rubby slippers

Momma's coming home.

It feels like I've been gone a long time. It feels like I will have gone around the globe. England and Germany seem like another vacation all together. Even Moscow and St. Petersburg feel really far away from here. I've been busy repacking and have realized just how long I've been gone. I filled three journals. I've taken 1000's of pictures. It feels like it's been a long time since I've had Mexican food and slept in my own bed. I'm certainly not homesick, but I'm ready to re-engage into my real life. The last couple days I've been thinking a lot about my doctor's appointments, haircuts, my thesis and West Egg, family and friends and even work. I guess it's been long enough.

Shanghai is such a great city. I would love to spend more time here, preferrably not dealing with the heat. I've still been ill, which is really annoying because when I do eat, I have not been eating anything authentically Chinese - I'm trying to be nice to my body. It's still not helping though.

But I've wandered through some gorgeous gardens:




Spent hours drinking tea and bargaining ridiculous prices for crap. I've gotten lost in the massive, chaotic, yet serene streets of Shanghai.



But I'm getting on an jet plane tomorrow and heading home. Don't worry mom, I won't forget to drink lots of water and wiggle my toes.

Thanks for reading along. I hope to see some of you very soon.

Steamy Nights in Shanghai

Actually, that's not the title I wanted, but I can't think of the movie... any help?

So I wandered around Beijing one last day yesterday. I managed to get to the correct station, avoid all the weirdos at the station, get on the fancy, super fast, super clean train to Shanghai:





I left last night at 7:30 and arrived at 7 this morning. It was weird not having friends in my berth after spending so much time on trains with Ben and Amanda, but my cabin buddies were awesome. There was a young Korean couple who were amazed at my Korean language skills (they're not great, but I suppose compared to most Americans I know a few things) and there was an older guy from Shanghai who spoke limited English. He was awesome. Not only did he call my hotel to find out the correct address and name (in Chinese) but he walked me to the cheap taxi stand at 7 am and told the cabby where he needed to take me. Gorgeous. I can't even begin to tell you how many problems the four of us had dealing with taxis in Beijing.

My hotel is great. If any of you are looking for a cheap hotel in Shanghai, let me know. Air, king-sized bed, clean, en suite bathroom, great bar/restaurant with no mystery meat dishes, a pool table, cozy couches and a super friendly staff. But I certainly didn't spend much of my day in the hotel. The other benefit of this hotel is it's out of the crazy touristy areas in a great neighborhood, a five minute walk from a subway station.




Of course I don't have a guidebook for Shanghai so I didn't really know where to go or what to see. Eventually I bought a map and figured out the complex, but highly efficient subway system. I love cities with subways. I've actually been thinking most of the day what a shame it is that I've never really lived in a city with great public transportation. Riverside is in dire need of a solution, but people there love their cars too much to support public transport. Minneapolis on the other hand... it's on its way, but not quick enough. It's a goo thing my tax dollars are going to support the new Twins stadium of course. We can put the metro on hold for another 10 or 20 years...

But I digress.

Shanghai is ping pong great! I was in Hong Kong a few years ago and I loved the fast paced city with beautiful parks and crazy-ass architecture. Shanghai is similar. It's modern. It's moving. It has signs of colonialism and the old history. But so far I love it.

I wandered to the People's Park and then walked down Nanjing Road - China's most famous shopping area.


People's Park:



Although I was going to kick someone in the head if they came up to me one more time trying to sell me rollerskates or "hey lady want a bag, watch, some other bootleg product." Once again ladies and gents, I am 6 feet tall and tower over most people here so I can't really hide in the background. I know I look Western. I am a walking and breathing money-holding tourist. But I didn't really let that get to me.

I walked down to the Bund - this is supposed to be famous:





I was more impressed with the Pudong island:



This island used to be filled with farmers but when the party took control, they decided to make Shanghai a real player in the global market and therefore Pudong was created essentially in the early 90s:


I took a breather and just watched people for awhile - I can't believe that Shanghai is hotter than Beijing, but it certainly is. I think when I'm sitting, i can blend in more. However, I was approached by several people trying to sell crap and several scam artists.

I have found one of the best ways to get rid of scam artists is to take pictures of them:


And here's another way...
Please read my earlier blog about the Beijing tea bitches. Anyway, when the first set of bitches approached me, I was cordial, listening to their stupid conversation starter questions about where I'm from, what state, how many people are in my family, blah, blah, blah. Then I snapped and I said, "Oh, do you want to go to tea with me?"

The look on their faces, you ask? Priceless. "Oh yes," one of the girls replied.

"Ahhh, no, I don't think so. I'm quite happy sitting here and keeping my money in my pocket."

The two girls backed away very quickly.

The second group of three girls who approached me with the same crap questions started about the same. I, once again, asked them if they wanted to join me for tea. They seemed surprised, of course. And then I went on a rant. "You want to take me to tea and then leave me with the bill?"

"Oh no, no, no" they replied, "we've heard of that sort of thing."

"Oh yes, I am sure you have. There are many unethical people like you three in this country. I think it's sad that you would pretend to be friendly with tourists like me, when all you want to do is be manipulative and take my money. Manipulative, do you know that word? Did they teach you that in your fancy English university?"

"Yes," the one ring-leader replied, "there are some not so nice people in China, you need to watch out."

"Oh," I replied, "Thanks for the warning, but I know all about the not so nice people. You should feel ashamed of yourself and your behavior. People who try to scam innocent tourists who are just here to learn about and enjoy your culture. It's a shame that the many, many good people in China allow this kind of scam to happen on their streets. It's too bad people like you have to ruin the reputation of China for so many tourists."

"How many days you been in Shanghai that you already know about the bad people already?" one asked me.

"Long enough," I replied.

"Well you are very wise and open."

"Yes I am. Now I suggest you get away from me and grow some morals before I call the police over here. Do you understand that? Is your English clear enough for that?"

"Yes," and the three backed away. The crowd around me started to applaud and give me thumbs up. They were Chinese and they certainly do not condone that kind of behavior.

I walked the long stretch on Nanjing Road with my shoulders held high. I'm sure I didn't change anything about all 5 of those girls' bullshit tactics, but I felt better about the Beijing debacle.

It actually cooled off this evening and the buildings were hello-kitty terrific all lit up and dancing in their fancy little Chinese way.

Beijing Highlights

I realize that I have not been a great blogger in China. There are several reasons for this, but the main excuse I have is I don't have access to blogger. All of these internet cafes are filled with smoke and people playing video games for hours. Either my camera wouldn't connect to the computer, or I couldn't access blogger at all. I still can't view my own blog - or anyone's for that matter. So I'm just hoping that the pics I posted today line up correctly.

I have some fun photos of the street:





The people:



The food:


The Ben show:




We went to an amazing acrobatic show which was a Beijing highlight:




The nightlife has been great:

And it's been fun to people watch (many of them are busy watching us:






But now I'm on my own. I can feel the end of the trip. I said goodbye to Ben, Linda and Amanda last night. They are off on separate adventures. I leave for Shanghai on a night train tonight (Monday). I'll have a few days to see the sights, do some shopping, wander around, and then I'll be home on Friday.
But Beijing's been great.

If I Could, I Would Build a Wall Around Your Love

Oh Beijing just keeps getting better. Ben, Linda and I woke up early Thursday morning and jumped on a bus headed to Matianyu section of the Great Wall of China. I understand why this is yet another wonder of the world. I love it.

We stopped at the Sacred Walk - the entrance to the Ming Tombs on the way:




Our campy tour group had to stop at several govenment stores before we got to the wall. This did not please me.



We also stopped for an awesome dinner - the first Chinese food in China that I really liked - but I think it was catered for tourists.


But then we had a few hours to make the Great Wall our little playground. The Chinese translation isn't Great Wall, it's Long City. They believe that if a city is walled and is protected then people will want to live there. With the population in the billions, I guess there's some validity to this theory. It's a steep hike to the top of the Wall (with several other options to the top - a lift, a cable car) but the views are breath-taking.




I think I climed about 6 million stairs going up and down several sections of the wall - divided by watch towers along the way.

But the best part of all is those crazy Chinese created a Toboggen slide down the side of the hill. Seriously, it's better than any ride at any amusement park I've ever been at:




You must try it sometime.

Beijing By Bicycle

Ok, so I realize I was really cranky in my last post about Beijing - I was much too tough on this mammouth city. What changed my mind you ask? Spending the day on a bicycle cruising around the city for hours.




I think Beijing's size alone made the city seem really daunting. It's much more accessable on two wheels. So Amanda and I spent the day riding the roads. First off, I'm amazed that every single street in this city has a bike path - freeways and side roads. It's been years since I rode a bike, but I certainly couldn't imagine a bike lane that stretched across the Inland Empire down 91, or even a bike path that connected 394 and 494 in the Twin Cities. Amanda and I were not alone on the bike paths - thousands of bikers take the path everyday. So it was great to cover so much ground in such a short amount of time.




In addition, we decided to zig zag through the city down several hutongs - narrow alleyways that make up the old city of Beijing. I think this was a personal highlight. Unfortunatly, many of Beijing's hutongs are being destroyed to build bigger, better modern buildings - it's such a shame. It sounds almost American.

Chinese Bitches

We walked around the area just outside of the forbidden city and ended up meeting three girls who were studying English. We walked through the gates of Tiananmen Square, took a couple photos, then these three girls told us they were going to go to a cafe to get something cold to drink, and wanted to know if we would like to join them. They wanted to practice their English. We were all tired. We didn't really want to have an English-language teacher moment, but they were sweet and whatever. So we walked several hot, sunny blocks - I should mention that we saw psuedo blue skies for the first time today because it rained last night and blew some of the smog away -




They took us to this great little tea shop. Ben mentioned that he read about a scam in Lonely Planet how they would get you to order $200 worth of stuff and then leave you with the bill. We were leary. We had been with these girls for hours at this point - all talking about family and travel and language. We told them we didn't need to rent a tea room (we read that on the wall - it was $15 to rent the room. We also told them that we didn't need the "traditional tea show" - although part of me was curious what the hell kind of show they would put on. They said, ok, we just want to talk with you and we can share a pot of tea. Then they brought a plate of fruit. Ben and I objected - it was also written on the wall that a clean fruit plate cost $15. I refused the fruit. I told one of the girls we didn't want it. She assured me that they ordered it and would pay for it.

I stepped away from the table for a few minutes and when I returned, Ben, Amanda and Linda were all giving the server 100 Yuan bills ($13). Ahhh ok. The bitch next to me (she called herself Serena) told me the bill was 558 Yuan... everyone owed 77 Yuan. Ahhh. OK. I told them I didn't want tea. I told Serena I didn't eat fruit. I wasn't going to pay. But the pressure was on... everyone else had handed the server 100. In America, we would split the bill. I knew there was evil in the world. I knew that it was not going to end well.

But we watched the three girls pack up their things, start speaking Chinese to each other, and then they said "good-bye, nice to meet you." And were gone. What we paid for a plate of watermelon and a shared pot of tea was equililent to 3 nights hotel. We were all dumb-founded. Especially when we saw the girls several doors down, collect money. We got had. I was so annoyed.

Let me tell you, if I see one of those bitches on the street, I will punch them in the throat. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Beware of these scamming bitches:

Chinese Checkers and Other Evil Games

I have not had access to my my blog. I'm not sure this will even post. So I can't add any photos yet. Sorry for you anti-readers, there will not be any photos in this one.

So we're in Beijing. I'm surly right now so I shouldn't write a proper blog, but I know it's been days.

We left Ulaanbaatar on Monday morning and flew to Tianjing, China. We were told there was some free shuttle to Beijing but when we arrived, after leaving customs, (funny story about the passport control guy having to get a second opinion - he didn't think it was my passport... I wrote a lot about this idea of face and identity in my journal, I just don't have time to get into it right now) we exited into a parking lot. No ATM. No money exchange. No clue.

There were several hooker-style Mongolians on our flight and I watched them cross a large parking lot and load up their things on big white buses. When in doubt, follow the crowd, right?

It took two hours to reach Beijing and when we arrived I was not impressed. Not at all. As many of you know I used to live in Riverside, CA aka Riversmog aka the brown city that burns my eyes. Riverside is 73,042,492 times cleaner than Beijing. I'm never seen such nasty pollution in my life. And the best part is, they are oh-so-proud of being the 2008 Olympic home that this honor is what is getting them to clean up the streets. Apparently when the Olympic officals came to town, they shut off the factories a week before their arrival. So for you Olympic hopefuls... good luck. I would start by smoking a couple packs of Camel filters a day and your lungs may be accustmed to the lovely air quality in Beijing.

And I shouldn't mention the heat. I've lived and traveled in humidity before, but the combination of smog and humidity is appaling.

Anyway, the bus dropped us off at some hotel and we had no idea where we were. None of us had any Yuan (Chinese currency) and we were hot and hungry lugging around our stuff. So where did we three Americans decide to go. Pizza Hut. It was connected to the hotel. It had killer A/C. We figured they would take US dollars (they wouldn't). And it had some strange pirate theme. Arrggghhhh. We were also stoked they were playing a little Bob Marley "One Love" in the background. I'd heard enough crappy American/British pop music - N'synch, Robbie Williams, Celine Dion... it was a nice change. However, the song was on repeat. For over an hour. One Love. Sing it again.

I ran around trying to find an ATM - I went passed KFC, Starbucks, Baskin Robbins... oh this crazy country.

We got money. We got to our hotel. We napped.

I woke up and decided to wander the streets a little while - there's an eerie 1980's b-movie feel to this city. It may be the dirt and construction, the red lights everywhere mixing with the smog. Who knows, but I swear I heard a porn-soundtrack back beat as I walked the streets alone.

I found a restaurant after awhile - or what I assumed was a restaurant because it had the English words Hot and Fresh on the window. I walked into the smoky lobby area and after staring at each for a few minutes and establishing that we don't speak the same langauges, the woman at the front desk called her friend and handed the phone to me. "Oh, I know someone who speaks English" I'm sure she thought.

"Hello?" I asked when she handed me the receiver.
"Hello," a man's voice replied.
"Ummm... I'm at a restaurant."
"I no underrrstand."
"Food? Drink?
"Ah yes, yes, yes," he replied. "What you want?"
"Ummm. Water. Soup."
"Ahhh no... I mean ok."

At that point I decided I needed to buy a Mandarin Dictionary.

I've been struggling to get enough protein in China - everything is a mystery meat.

Yesterday morning (Tuesday) Ben and I got up by 8 to catch the hotel's free breakfast. It was a buffet style collection of mystery products - tasteless porridge, some sauces, brown hard boiled eggs with lime green centers, tasteless fried dough, corn on the cob, sea weed and 3 or 4 true myteries I couldn't sort out what they were.

Amanda got the 24 flu bug that Ben had the other day in Mongolia, so while she spent the day in bed, I spent several hours wandering around by myself. I saw lots of men playing chess and Mah jong on the streets, public napping, and loads of bicycles. When Amanda thought she was feeling better, we walked down to the Forbidden City, bought some art work, and ended up walking back because she couldn't handle drinking liquids.

Public napping is everywhere.


Last night, Linda, Ben's mom, joined us. Ben, Linda and I went to eat hot pot and chat.

This morning (Wednesday) the four of us (Amanda is feeling better) took a bus to the Forbidden City. The Ben show was in full effect. Entire tour groups stopped to take photos of my dear friend Ben and then we took our friend's advice and told people they had to pay to take photos of the Ben. What a fucking disaster. I can't even tell you how many crazy Chinese tourists opened up their wallets to pose with the Ben. A man from Spain approached me and asked if he was famous. "In some way, yes, i guess he is," I replied. Ben charged 1 Yuan (bus fare, it's about 14 cents) Some dude gave him a 10 so he could get pictures with his entire family, one guy gave him a dollar. I stood back several times throughout the afternoon to just witness the pandemonium. Madness. I think Ben's mom was in shock. Amanda and I have witnessed the Ben show for many weeks now (not to mention I had my own Annette show in several countries several years ago). It's really strange to not be part of that show anymore. I certainly am not complaining. I posed for a few pictures (free of charge), but I think it was just a matter of height, not weight.

Forbidden City:


My girl Amanda kicks ass:


After roasting for several hours in the Forbidden City, we stopped at a cafe in between the City and Tiananmen Square. We tried to rehydrate, avoid strange dirty men who wanted to join our table, and we dug through tasty MSG-filled piles of mystery meat and rice.

Country Roads

Saturday morning Ben woke up really ill. We took it easy, walked around the park awhile and when he thought he could make it in the bumpy car ride again, we jumped in the Jeep and took off for Ulaanbaatar to drop Ben back at the apartment. But first I came face to face with my little friend I like to call S.S. Humpy.


She took me for a little ride:


Amanda got along with her as well:


After dropping Ben off in UB, we headed South on really bumpy, sometimes paved, sometimes not roads. We were headed to Hustai National Park.

The several hour drive was UNBELIEVABLE. Really, I've never seend so many shades of green and the horizon went on forever.



Amanda shows off the empty spaces:



We arrived at Hustain National Park, but there was no room for us at the inn.



We asked Tushig to drive us to some gers - these are the tents that nomadic people live in. I find it fascinating that first off, they move around multiple times a year, but I think it's equally fascinating that strangers show up at their door, and these people always offer what they have. I had read about it, but I wanted to experience it for myself.

The first ger that we stopped at, we were welcomed by an old woman, her son who is from the Gobi, but he was working as a hired helper in Steppe for a few days. He had two kids along for the ride. We sat with them and they offered us milk tea (filtered lake water, camel's milk and tea). They also offered us dried camel cheese -very salty and some bread:


The milk tea and camel cheese:


The camel got jealous and wanted to join us:

The kids wanted to show off ad drive around for awhile.

The camel cheese drying out:


This was a really amazing almost wordless experience.





We walked to the next ger and were (once again) welcomed to sit in their homes. They offered us airang - fermented horses milk - it tastes a lot like beer. I tried it, but I wasn't sure how my little tummy would take it. Amanda liked it though:


This old man was sitting in the corner drinking his vodka during the first part of the visit - but then he started passing the little tin cup - vodka for everyone!


They showed us their livestock


We took loads of pictures.


Their back yard:


We went to the Jeep and offered them what we had. Amanda gave the kids candy, chips, apples. I offered them a bottle of vodka I'd picked up in St. Petersburg.

And then we said goodbye:






Tushig offered to take three of the guys back to UB with us, so we all crowded in the car, after many, many good byes and drove back to the city.