together-ness (July 12,06)

I had to pick up my brother from the airport the other day and we had an interesting, albeit brief, conversation that I can't seem to get out of my head. He was talking about a friend of ours who, according to him, "needs to get her shit together." She is 25, still floating through various school, programs and relationships, she moved back in with her parents, and she is essentially loving life. I love it. I love her. I think it's fabulous. He thinks she needs to pick her career goals and grow up; I think she is just embracing everything, and traveling and loving being alive.
So I asked him, "Would it be different if she was married?"
I know a lot of people who got married right out of high school, they're completely supported by their husbands, and whether they went to college after high school or not is irrelevent. Some of them decided to pursue a "career" several years into the marriage, some decided to go back to school once the kids were a bit older, and some choose to make a career out of being a mommy. I have zero qualms with stay-at-home moms. In fact, I realize this may surprise many of you, but if I would have gone down the marriage/kid path, I would have liked to stay home to take care of them as well. But I wonder about the judgement made about twenty and even thirty-somethings who are busy just L-I-V-I-N'. Is this a generational thing? Will the X'ers be remembered as quintessential slackers?
I have been called a lesbian, man-hater, whatever, blah blah blah over the years... I'm assuming this is because I'm not married; I am successful; and I'm happy.
HAPPY.
I've loved before. Many times. My relationships just never panned out. I wanted more, or he wanted more, or whatever. The intricacies of my relationship past is not the point.
I'm venting. Sorry.
I wonder if I think that 30 is the new 20 because it is, or because I'm 30.
Any thoughts?

Currently reading : The Partly Cloudy Patriot By Sarah Vowell